...Was That Wrong?

So I went on a first date about a week ago now. Tuesday night. Casual drinks. Very interested in my date. The date went very well. Maybe a bit too well. Now I'm left wondering whether it's my fault that these things go nowhere when I give in to a date going too well....

A bit of background:

I do not have a ton of luck picking guys up in my everyday life. I am no blonde-Barbie-doll-type and I work a LOT, so if you're going to find me, you'd basically have to be coming by my office to specifically sell ME something. And then I'd probably just tell the receptionist to tell you to go away - I'm just too busy for sales calls.

Anyway, being the independent woman of the 90's that I am, I use a lot of internet dating sites. At the moment, I'm using two of them - one a matching site (one that gives you matches to consider) and one a browsing site (one where you browse photos and profiles and pick and choose who to communicate with). Frankly, I've never had much luck with matching sites, but two friends recently found love on this one and suggested I try it... so I did. And that's where my date comes in...

Back to the action:

So I started exchanging emails with this guy maybe 2 weeks ago. When we were first "matched" I thought to myself that he was too good looking for me - that it would never ever work out because I would always feel like he should be with someone better looking than I. However, since I know that such an attitude is grossly self-defeating and won't get me anywhere in my quest, I continued emailing him. The emails were great. Informative, cute, well-written (for the most part) and responsive. I never had to wait more than a few hours to get a response from him and I was starting to feel a little quivery below the belt every time his name popped up in my.. ahem... inbox.

Anyway, we decided to make a date for last Tuesday. He suggested a casual college bar near me. Some might say it's a mistake to go to such a casual place - but I don't mind it. Keeps the pressure and the bar tab low. I got a cute new silk top and dressed in my tight, butt-hugging dark jeans and comfortable-yet-flashy metallic heels. I looked really cute. When I got there, HE looked cute. We started chatting. We drank a few beers. We laughed and joked and ... eventually... YAHTZEE! He came to sit on my side of the table.

This is a sign of a date going really well! We were talking with our lips right next to each others' ears, resting our foreheads together between sentences, playfully kissing and touching... everything was going great! Then we get up to leave and start to walk down the gangway towards the sidewalk out front. BAM! More kissing in the gangway - this time more intense. Great! I'm thinking... this is going so well! There's so much chemistry! We're really into each other! He asks when he can see me again and we decide Friday night sounds like a good second date night. Yippee!!

Out on the street and neither of us wants to leave. He walks me home. He comes inside with me and... stays the night.

Now. I know that conventional wisdom is that if you give away the milk, no one is going to buy the cow. However, since I'm not of the school of thought that you must remain thirsty until the day you marry, I'm not so concerned about violating old axiomatic rules. Still, things seemed weird after this happened.

Since Wednesday morning, I've talked to this guy on the phone, emailed with him, called him, and spent time with him at his place on the pre-determined Friday night date, but there's been no talk of another date. No questions about when I'm available and he's not taking the bait I'm giving him on the subject, either. For example, he told me yesterday that he's taking Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off this week. I asked "do you have any big plans for your time off?" He responds that he has plans Tuesday and Friday evenings, but nothing on any of the other days. Period.

HELLO!!! THAT'S YOUR CUE TO ASK IF I'M AVAILABLE ONE OF THOSE OTHER NIGHTS!!!

What is going on here? He's initiated communication twice and I've initiated communication twice, so we're even odds on that. He responded to my "give me a call sometime if you want to hang out" text with a resounding "Of course!".. but makes no definite plans to see me. So what gives?

Part of me realizes that I have the desire to know what something is as soon as it becomes ANYTHING. In this case, I've known this guy for 6 days. He doesn't owe me anything nor do I owe him anything. Still, I find myself struggling not to send him an email that says "look, are you interested or not" just so I can put him in the "yes" or the "no" column in my head! I mean, if you're not interested, STOP TALKING TO ME. Just blow me off! I'll take the hint! But you keep kind of hanging on and I don't know where you stand.

Time to institute the no contact rule for this one, I think. Ugh!!