So I Met This Guy....

It seems like I've been dating forever. I mean, from hookups to internet dates to set ups to guys who ask you to "things" rather than "dates," it just seems like I've seen it all.

I've become a circus side show to most of my friends. Old coworkers ask me whether I've "got any good dating stories" (read: any humiliating stories of being stood up, treated poorly, dumped or otherwise embarassed while attempting to find love) before setting up a lunch date. Somehow, if I reply that I do NOT have any such stories, the lunch never quite comes together.

Don't get me wrong - I'm really not jaded yet. In fact, sometimes I think I'm far to hopeful yet for my own good. A jaded girl would never assume that the guy's gonna call. A cynic wouldn't check her email to see if he'd jotted a quick "had a great time" message the morning after a date. Oh no. I'm the eternal optimist. Wearing "Sex and the City" colored glasses, I truly believe somewhere deep down inside my chest that there is someone out there for me. And that's, I think, my problem.

I watch single friend after single friend find and couple with dates who seem PERFECT for them. Then, I see couple after couple consummating their relationships with a ring and some vows and a really tasteless meal followed by insane dancing and smearing of cake in each others' faces. But they're happy - at least for now. So what am I doing wrong??

I know, I know. This is the forlorn-Friday-night sob of any number of single gals all over the world. Why isn't he calling? Why can't I meet someone? Where is he?

The thing is, I do pretty well for myself. I go on a fair number of dates (4 in the past three weeks!). I meet a wide variety of men from a slew of different backgrounds. But none of them seem to work out. And I don't mean that they don't work out down the road. I mean, they don't work out INSTANTANEOUSLY. I'd say about 85% of my dates end in one or both of us saying something like "well it was nice to meet you... bye!!" or "I think this is more of a friendshp thing..."

Well, I'm sick of meeting new people who I'll never speak to again and I don't need any more friendships. I want a relationship with someone I really care for. I want a relationship with someone who really cares about me. I am not willing to settle and I am not willing to fundamentally change myself to find a guy. So, what to do?

I'm going to chronicle my dating exploits - from dates, to online dating profiles, to burgeoning relationships, to any other ridiculous nonsense that happens to me along the way - in the hopes of gaining some clarity about my situation and what I need to do to find what it is that I'm looking for. Hopefully this will also help me process my feelings - both good and bad - about dating and the people I'm dating as well.

So, continue on, fair reader... and feel free to comment about my adventures. The goal of this blog is to understand myself a little bit better so that maybe I can start meeting, dating, and loving the right people. Since I haven't been able to do that in the past 29 years, maybe this (and your comments!) will help.